Taming or Taunting Inner Emotions?

Apart from some of the notorious themes of Beloved, my inspiration and reflection of the novel have stemmed from a more specific characteristic of Sethe herself: emotional control. There is no doubt in the fact that Sethe has experienced emotional and physical strife on a level incomparable to anything in modern society. Strangely enough, my admiration for Sethe does not go out to her perseverance during adverse times, but rather her emotional and physical self control demonstrated in her later life.

The strength she displays throughout her daily life in thinking only of the present, rather than the past, completely amazes me. It’s as if Sethe has locked all her painstaking memories in a box, and has buried it as deep and as far away from reality as possible. It’s a dark concept, how she neglects to acknowledge her past. Sethe has some very sad, hurt part of her that is so incredibly emotional that it hurts more to acknowledge it, and live with feeling, than to live emotionless. However disturbing this may be, it was Sethe’s method of coping on the path of least resistance.

This is what I envy in Sethe, and what I strive to practice in my everyday life. I am an exuberant individual who struggles with keeping my emotions in check. However much I try to withhold them, I find that I always tend to emotionally explode- usually with anger- and create a lot of unneeded, avoidable turmoil. These emotional releases that I experience usually are sparked by nothing but a miscommunication or mindless accident. What the spark ignited is the true issues I face. For weeks, months, even years, I allow myself to hold in every frustrating, angry experience I encounter. It becomes a heaping mass of tinder just waiting to be set ablaze by some innocent mistake.

However dark and sad the truth for why Sethe traps her emotions from her present mindset may be, the self control and strength she displays in the process is what I wish I had. It is a talent I aspire for as an emotionally derailing teenager. Yet, it also calls to question some serious thought. When is emotion good and bad? What constitutes as healthy emotion- should it be balanced? And is it really truly possible to control the scale?

I hope some of these questions can at least begin to be answered with the completion of Beloved, but until then, we’ll have to see.